This blog post builds on previous posts (part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4) with additional ways to support bereaved parents you know and love. The ideas in this post focus on ways to help provide exposure to a different environment, which can offer refreshment while grieving.
9. Offer to do an activity with them. You can support your grieving loved ones by proposing a few specific activities to do with them, such as taking a walk, playing a sport, going to a painting class, going to a nail salon, etc. After losing our son, two of our friends offered to hang out with us. They presented several options for activities, which was helpful so we didn't have to take on the burden of planning and logistics. We decided to take them up on the offer about a month and a half after losing our son, and they treated us to a Top Golf hangout.
Though socializing felt hard to do so early in the grief journey (e.g., we experienced some grief brain fog that made it harder to carry a conversation), we appreciated the opportunity to spend time with our friends, be in a new environment, do a new activity, and create new memories.
A few tips:
- Be thoughtful about the ideas you present and the timing of when you do so;
- Don't be offended if your loved one chooses not to take you up on your offer; and
- Don't be surprised if they interact with you differently than you may expect.
- If possible, it would also be great if you offered to cover any associated expenses for the activity as a nice extra gesture to show love and hospitality.
10. Support them in traveling. Traveling provides new experiences and perspectives that can be helpful when coping with grief. At the same time, we know that not everyone is able to afford a travel experience after losing their child. To support your grieving loved one's ability to travel, you can help by providing gift cards for items such as flights or lodging.
Also, recognizing that you as a supporter may not be able to take on this type of financial endeavor, you can still support their travel in other ways, such as:
- Collaborating with other family members and friends to collectively contribute a travel gift card.
- Completing the planning and booking process for their trip (e.g., maybe if they don't have much experience traveling and would like some help with it, or if they don't have the mental energy to take on the task of planning a trip at this time).
- Offering a staycation in your home or the home of another family member or friend. You can get creative with this. For example, ensure the home has a clean and pleasant ambiance and offer to provide thoughtful amenities, such as meals, a home spa, board games, etc. with as much or as little interaction with you as your loved one desires at the time.
Note: For more insights on the value of traveling after losing a child, read our Grief Travel Series:
- Part 1 - Mayhurst Inn
- Part 2 - San Francisco Bay Area
- Part 3 - Fiji
- Part 4 - New Zealand
- Part 5 - Garden of Gethsemane
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