Remembering Our Baby Shower

Remembering Our Baby Shower

Reflecting on highlights from a child’s life and celebrating the life they lived are nice ways to cherish a child’s memory. The next few blog posts will do just that - celebrate the life of our son, Travis Jr., as we reflect on some incredible moments during his life. We hope that these posts will encourage you to fondly reflect on your child’s life. 


If you are reading this blog in support of a loved one who lost a child, one way to show your love and support is by letting them know you were thinking of a nice moment regarding their child’s life. For example: “I was reflecting on your baby shower and how beautiful it was. I particularly enjoyed the part when ____. Just want you to know that I’m thinking of you and [child’s name] with lots of love.” 


Note: sharing comments like these should be done at an appropriate time, which may vary based on the individual parent and your relationship with them. In general, consider doing so later in the grief journey, rather than in the immediate weeks following a child’s death. Also, gifting them with a “Baby, Forever Loved” Journaling Set where they can reflect on these memories at any point in their grief journey would be a thoughtful gesture. 


Travis Jr.’s baby shower was a beautiful event that brought together over 80 people from various parts of our lives. We were initially unsure about whether we wanted a baby shower, due to the pandemic, as well as not necessarily wanting a big spotlight on ourselves and our baby. However, we decided to proceed with a virtual baby shower that our family and a friend joyfully planned and executed. 


Travis Jr.’s grandmother and aunt sent balloons, decorations, outfits, and treats for us to enjoy during the shower. Travis Jr.’s mom wore a beautiful blue gown and head wreath with blue and purple flowers. Travis Jr.’s dad wore a nice blazer and his favorite “Blessed Dad” tee-shirt and hat. 


The baby shower kicked off with a narrated slideshow with pictures of us as kids, as well as pictures of our pregnancy, including Travis Jr.’s amazing pregnancy photo shootWe played games, including a trivia game where guests guessed our responses to questions like, “what do you think the baby will be like,” “what’s one thing you want to teach the baby,” and “what are you most excited for when the baby arrives”? 


We said Travis Jr. would be joyful, pleasant, and inquisitive. We wanted to teach Travis Jr. about our faith, teach him French, teach him music, and more. As we looked forward to Travis Jr.’s birth, we were excited to hold him, take pictures and videos with him, and see which parent could find the most clothes to match with him. We are grateful that, even after our son’s stillbirth, we had the opportunity to do these last three things; at the hospital, we held Travis Jr., took photos and videos with him, and wore matching outfits. 


During the baby shower, family and friends prayed, provided parenting advice, and shared words of encouragement. For example, guests reflected on how we both had a long history of loving and caring for children – whether younger family members or kids from programs we served in – and how we’d now have the privilege of raising our own child. They expressed how excited they were for us to meet our baby soon and how they knew we’d continue to take great care of Travis Jr. 


During and after the baby shower, we were filled with so much love, joy, and excitement at celebrating Travis Jr. and preparing to meet him. 


Little did we know that, three days later, we would head to the hospital and learn that our son died. 


Death has a way of increasing our appreciation for life. We are glad that we publicly celebrated Travis Jr.’s life while he was still alive. We are glad that we gave Travis Jr. his proverbial flowers while he still lived. 

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