Honoring a Child’s Memory through Foster Parenting

This week’s blog post is written by Andrew Yates, in remembrance of his daughter, Maddie. See the previous blog post for more from Andrew about precious Maddie.  

***  

We honor our daughter on a daily basis by being foster parents to babies using the nursery, clothes, and toys that we had prepared for Maddie. We put stickers on all of Maddie’s things with her name on them. Sometimes when our foster baby is playing with a toy, they will turn it over and I’ll see the Maddie Yates sticker on the bottom. 

After we lost Maddie, we didn’t know what to do with our nursery. We put so much effort into it and didn’t want to give up on growing our family, so we couldn’t bring ourselves to take it down. We just kept the door closed for a long time. 

We knew we wanted to raise a family, but we didn’t know how because the thought of jumping right back into pregnancy felt too hard. We instead decided to become foster parents and use everything we had prepared for our foster children. 

We brought in a sweet little baby girl who came to our house when she was three days old. She wore Maddie’s clothes, played with Maddie’s toys, used Maddie’s crib, and everything else we had prepared for our daughter. It has been such a sweet journey to take care of and love these children who desperately need safe and loving parents for a time in their lives. We have taken care of three infants now and it has been such a blessing. 

I feel like being a foster dad has grown my love for Maddie more than I could have ever imagined. I was never a baby person previously, so I really didn’t know what to expect from having a baby of my own. Through my foster children, I learned how deeply I love rocking an infant to sleep, how joyful it is when a kid who’s been in our home for a few months lights up when they see me, and just how deep the love of a father is. 

Sometimes I stop and realize that the way I love my foster kids is exactly how I would have loved my biological daughter. It hurts so hard when I realize that, but it’s also such a gift to be able to really understand what I lost.